Alcohol
Abuse (al-ko-hall-ah-buse): Alcoholic
beverages spilled onto the table surface.
Asswipee (az-weep-ay):
The guy who, after a hand is over, tells
you how much better he would have played
the hand you just lost.
Brunsonsome (brun-son-zome):
The poker playing chromosome that passes
from parent to offspring as with Doyle Brunson
to Todd Brunson.
Carrier Monkey (care-ree-er
mon-kee): A poker player that returns from
the restroom so quickly that you know he
didn’t wash his hands. See E-coligrit.
Despondenate (dee-spon-din-ate):
The act of squandering an entire day’s
poker winnings in fifteen minutes elsewhere
in the casino. Also applies to losses by
your spouse while waiting for you to finish
playing.
E-coligrit (E-co-lie-grit):
The disease ridden coating that gives poker
chips that nicely “aged” look.
Elonginumerate (ee-law-gah-new-mer-ate):
The act of adding numbers to the end of
your preferred online poker nickname because
someone is already using the one you wanted.
For example: sexygirl88.
Esfandiphobia (es-fan-doh-fo-bee-ah):
The fear of allowing Antonio Esfandiari
or any professional magician to shuffle
or deal at your home game.
Esposalfauxpax (es-po-sal-fo-paw):
The act of making an ungentlemanly comment
about a super-hot female approaching the
poker table immediately before someone informs
you she is his wife/girlfriend.
Eyeline (eye-line): The
imaginary line defined by your eyeball and
the cleavage of the woman playing across
from you.
Fiboplic (fib-oh-plik):
A poker player that constantly wows you
with stories of his awesome poker skills,
yet you have never actually seen him have
a winning session.
Gaggit (gag-it): Any lame
comment made as if no one has heard it before.
Examples include, “Hey, we mucked
your pocket aces while you were in the bathroom”
and “I’ll play your cards for
you while you’re gone.”
Glink (glink): The sound
made by the all-in bet of your single remaining
chip.
Hallucibet (hall-lu-see-bet):
Any bet made because you think you have
a specific hand but you do not. Example:
You think you have a straight, but are missing
the Jack.
Ignopause (Ig-no-paws):
The amount of time that passes between making
a gigantic bet and realizing you are horribly
beat.
Laakaerobics (Lock-a-row-bicks):
Any celebratory exercise activity, such
as push-ups or dancing, performed in the
vicinity of the poker table. Especially
when wearing workout gear such as a hooded
sweatshirt.
Loserwaltz (loo-zer-walts):
The slow, painful exit of a player eliminated
at the final table of a poker tournament.
Usually involves some hand shaking and half
hearted side-hugs.
Mikematucide (mike-ma-too-side):
Playing superior poker for most of a tournament
and then throwing away all your chips with
a rookie play (especially in televised play).
Ngheimer (ing-hi-mer):
The act of forgetting what hole cards you
have after looking at Evelyn Ng’s
cleavage.
Nicodick (nic-oh-dik):
A person who knowingly sits down in a smoking
area of the poker room and constantly complains
about the smoke.
Nicosponge (nik-oh-spunj):
A non-smoker sitting between two chain-smoking
players.
Nxlplm (nix-ill-plim):
An online poker nickname lacking enough
vowels to make it pronounceable in any language.
For example: fghr69.
Obscuriloan (obs-cure-a-lone):
Money that you “know” you loaned
to someone, but the borrower “knows”
he repaid to you.
Obscurisult (obs-cure-a-sult):
An insult made concerning your poker play
that is so badly worded or nonsensical you
don’t understand it.
Orphanhol (or-fan-hall):
The orphaned drink order that arrives after
the player who ordered it is busted out
and leaves the table.
PDMR -- Path of Danger
and Much Regret (path-ov-dan-ger-an-much-re-gret):
Upon leaving the poker room at a casino,
the thirty-five foot long distance you have
to walk before you get past the sports book.
See Despondenate.
Pokaracter (po-care-ak-ter):
The character played by professional players
that is nothing like them in real life.
Pokernazi (po-ker-not-zee):
The guy at your home game that is not the
dealer or the host but has taken it upon
himself to be in charge of all rules and
regulations regarding the game. Has never
actually read any rules of poker, but has
learned from “experience” (television).
Pokerpause (po-ker-paws):
The moment you realize that the “sucker”
you were trying to identify at your table
is actually you.
Progeniphobia (pro-gin-oh-fo-bee-ah):
The fear held by many professional poker
players that their children will pick up
poker as a hobby or profession. See Brunsonosome.
Pseudoluck (sue-doe-luk):
The bogus wish of luck your opponent extends
during an all-in moment that really means
“I hope you choke and die” just
prior to the cards being dealt.
Santocontestant (san-toe-con-tes-tant):
Any contestant in a poker game that is nicknamed
after a deity. For example: Chris “Jesus”
Ferguson.
Sploink (sploink): The
amusing expression on your opponent’s
face when you smack him down with the only
hand that can beat his.
SPOC (spock): Steaming
Pile of Congratulations. Any uttering of
the phrase “nice hand” that
really means something to the effect of
“oh my God, you are such a donkey;
how could you call me with that hand?”
Vanpattenanalysis (van-pat-ah-nal-la-sis):
Any correct prediction of the outcome of
a hand withheld until AFTER the hand is
revealed (especially when the word “obviously”
is used in the prediction).
- Richard Taylor invites everyone to send
new poker terms to his email for future
publication: GeorgiaPoker@comcast.net
or to visit the Kick Ass Poker Forum and
add your terminology!
- Copyright 2005, Richard Taylor
- Add your poker
terminology in the KAP Forum.
*All submissions may be published in a
book with proper reference given.
2006
World Series of Poker - Poker
Stars Guide
- Texas
Holdem 101 - Top
Online Poker Rooms
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