Offbeat Poker


Unique and off the wall poker articles. Random articles, made up stuff, blatant promotions and other articles.

Skank Chic Busted For Stealing Clay Poker Chips
In a move she labeled the ‘Skanken Snatch’, this unidentified skanker plays the old ‘look at the bottom of my shoe’ gag to make off with an Atlanta Poker Club clay poker chip, with an estimated street value of less than thirty cents.
Goth Chic Spotted At Atlanta Poker Club Tournament
After getting his $800 all-in raise called on the turn, Jay prepares his morph into ‘The Jay Jones Show’ as girlie-girl shows 86o, making her inside straight draw on the river, spiking the miracle 7. GothChic approves with a resounding belch and orders a round for the house. Three tables over joelarbear smiles…
Unique Poker Gifts for that Special Poker Player
All I want for Christmas is a Royal Flush, spiked on the river versus Mike Matusow at the final table of the World Series of Poker Main Event for the victory and the 10 million dollar grand prize! One can dream, no? Anyway, if you have a poker player in your family…husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, cousin, brother, uncle… celebrating a special occasion then get them one of these unique poker gifts.
Note: Mike ‘The Mouth’ Matusow talking dolls sold out.
More On The Rail Articles

Million Dollar Home Page Draws A Crowd

Trip Reports. Find out what is happening in Poker Tournaments across the country from our Atlanta Poker Club players and our Kick Ass Poker members. Our members are all over the country and all over the world and whenever they have good reports, they send them in and we post them here. If you have a great trip report, send it over. We always give article credits.
Ben Nash, a.k.a 6foot3
Tunica Trip Report from WSOP Circuit and the WPT
I spent the weekend in Tunica and wanted to give everyone an update of the events. Generally speaking, the tournaments were cheesy and the cash games were unbelievably live. I played in the $500 buy-in no limit hold em event on Saturday. The Grand had a “divided” room as more people…

More Poker Trip Reports…

NYC Underground Poker Club Trip Report

Vegas Trip Report

Tunica Trip Report  Poker Trip Report Resources



What were they thinking?
We’ll show you a random photo and ask you to help us figure out what someone in the photo is thinking. The submissions can be anything and responses will be posted below.
WWTT? #1 – Jeff Schade dealing, dazed and confused
What Was Jeff Thinking? Those of us that have played against or been dealt to by Jeff, have learned that he pulls no punches and isn’t afraid to let you know what’s on his mind. So, since Jeff loves to give everybody else the business, we thought we’d let the KAP poker community have their fun and help us figure out what thoughts are running through his mind at this recent Southern Comfort Tournament.

Whether you know him or not, help us figure out “What Was Jeff Thinking?” Send your responses (be creative) to – ->

Then stop by the forum and ask Jeff (a.k.a. biochem) what he was really thinking.
Check out some of the responses:

“She can’t resist me.”
– Grube

“I wonder if she can smell that fart?”
– Joelarbear

“I’ve got the nuts.”
– Goat

“If she’s in, I’m out.”
– Fuller

“Did someone say cake???”
– Biochem

“Want me to tell ya where to put that camera!!!!”
“Pocket aces SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”
“Don’t take my F–ing picture, one F–ing pink chip in front of me. This game sucks!!!!!”
– Jeff H.

“Don’t take a picture while I’m lactating…”
“Did you ever think there is more to life than being really really really ridiculously good looking?”
– James M.

“Keifer who?!?!”
– Ron D.

”                                             ”
– Andy J.

“Well my joke about her hair went down like a lead balloon.”
– Matt L.

“”Me and my pocket aces – NUTS.
– Bjorn

“Got a light?”
– Dom

“There’s no way she can tell I have crabs , I’m not even flinching …”
– Cronier

“I like pink chips.. they make me feel giddy inside!”
– Jae

“I wonder if she smells that?”
“I swear if she does that one more time…”
– Lance

“I’m the best looking, smartest player here but sadly no one else knows it”
– Phylis

“I would like a beer and and like to see something naked….that’s what all guys are thinking right?”
– Kevin

“Do I have time for another beer before I go all-in?”
– Shamrox

“The cigs aren’t mine and no, you can’t peek at my pair of Cowboys.”
“Yes it is! Touching elbows is considered a first date.”
– John P.

“If I didn’t have a deuce 4 I’d kick your ass!!”
– John B.

Thanks and we’ll see you at the tables!